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School of the Wise
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Course #1 Lesson #14 Webweaving "Often a book or article can be a catalyst in your spiritual growth, but nothing beats the one-to-one sharing of thoughts and practices between two human beings." Now if this doesn't sum up the entire purpose behind the School of the Wise, I don't know what will! I am an avid reader, and love to sit down and pick a book apart. When I first started to study the Craft, this was one of my main avenues of learning. But as I continued to grow I realized that I needed to interact with like minded people. This interaction allowed me to solidify my beliefs, expose me to new ideas, and even help me realize that there are many ways to practice the Craft, and my way was not the only way.
One thing you will run into when dealing with people who say they are Pagan/Wiccan is those who love to talk about all the "secrets" they know, but of course they can't share them with you. My guess is these people actually know next to nothing about the Craft, and are just trying to impress and/or control you. Be very careful interacting with these types of people. We all love a good mystery, but I don't believe there is anything in the Craft that says you can't share basic and more in-depth information. Some traditions do require a oath of secrecy, and these people will be limited in the amount of specific information they are comfortable talking about. But I have talked to hundreds of pagans, mainly online, and I have yet to be told that they can't answer a question because of an oath. You will just have to use your common sense when dealing with people, and remember that there are frauds in every religion, ours included.
Webweaving guidelines
1. Acquire a post office box: Obviously, we are all somewhat computer and internet literate or we wouldn't be taking these courses lol. All of my communication with other pagans comes either through email or face to face meetings. For my email I always use one of those "free" email accounts (hotmail, yahoo etc) for correspondence until I am comfortable with people. I figure its harder for someone to "trace" me if I use one of those accounts. Let's face it, not everyone out there is all warm and fuzzy, and there are some real screwballs that profess to be pagan/wiccan. It's best to take precautions until you are comfortable with the people you are talking too. This whole section on guidelines covers some very sound advice regarding meeting people and corresponding with them. If you are going to use the old fashioned snail mail, I strongly suggest getting a PO Box. They don't cost much, and it will help ensure your safety, and your families.
2. Don't give out your home or work address/phone number until you are comfortable with someone. Pretty much the same reasons as above apply here, only more directly. Once someone has that information it is much easier to track someone down. I certainly do not want to scare anyone here. I have talked to many people, and have never had any problems at all. But it is better that we think about the possible problems before they occur, rather than unintentionally putting ourselves in a compromising position.
3. Return mail from people who become rude or offensive or that want to preach another religion to you. From time to time I'll get emails from those who feel it is their duty to convert me to another religion. My first reaction was to email them back and politely explain to them that I have probably tried their religion (Wicca is not my first stop on the religion train lol), and that I found it lacking for me. But I found when I did that it just added fuel to their fire and I'd get more and more emails that I didn't want. Now, I just hit the delete key. You are not likely to educate these people, they think they know it all. Also, if you start getting mail from people who are being rude or otherwise inappropriate, just delete it, or return to sender if its snail mail. Again, there is no sense wasting your time and energy trying to help someone who obviously isn't looking for help right now.
4. Making that first Contact: According to Silver there are basically 3 types of people that you will correspond with on this path. These people will be 1) looking for pen pals, 2) wanting to share specific skill or 3) those who want to teach or be taught. All 3 of these types of people have a place in our correspondence. Sometimes its nice to get email that is not completely Craft related. It helps us keep in touch with the rest of the world. And of course sharing skills and learning/teaching is always a blessing.
A quick side note here regarding finding teachers and the such. I have finally learned, after many headaches and much craziness, that I am my own best teacher, and that life has its own way of making its points! While it is nice to work with those who have been practicing a while longer than we have, it's not a good idea to become "disciples" of any one person, be it someone you know or an author. It is much more important to look at several sides of things, and then internalize what information you have gathered, and then decide what you believe is best for you. Wicca is a religious practice that requires us to think for ourselves, but still keep an open mind.
Silver wrote a wonderful scented here that I just want to emphasize. She says "patience is both a posture and a practice." Being the Type A Fire Child that I am, patience is something that I constantly struggle with. I have slowly but surely gotten better as I get older, but there are times where I just get so fed up with stupid stuff that I would like to scream. I found Silvers thought on patience to be rather helpful though. The posture part to me is being able to keep your thoughts to yourself, even when you are really ready to just kick someone in the head lol. Of course, that whole practice thing is still not my forte!
Watch out for the "title-bearers". This doesn't mean that titles in and of themselves are bad things, it just means that there are people who claim to have all these impressive sounding titles, and they may not know a hill of beans!
Silver's last point in this section is very valid. Networking is not a dating service!!! Granted, I'm sure there are more than one happy couple out there that met that way, but I doubt very highly if that was their intent when they started networking. If you get proposals of a sexual nature and are not interested, simply stop corresponding with the person. Return their snail mail, block their email, whatever you need to do. Don't' bother spending your time trying to convince them that you aren't interested, because it probably won't work.
Meeting Witches Face to Face
I really wish that this section wasn't necessary. I wish I could tell you that everyone who calls themselves a Witch or Wiccan are nice people and would never harm anyone. But that simply is not the case. You need to take precautions when meeting someone new, in or out of the Craft.
Behaving Yourself When You Are Invited Out
Each group has it's own rules and expectations. If possible, get as much information from whomever invited you before going. But I'd almost bet that there will be something that the group does that is new to you, and maybe uncomfortable. If it's too uncomfortable, such as a "ritual" orgy, then leave. But if its simply a different way of casting the circle, or calling the corners, take it as a learning opportunity. Remember, there is no one right way to practice the Craft.
Designing the Introduction Letter/Email
I think Silver covers this extremely well. Just remember not to give out any more information than you really need to initially. This is again just a safety precaution.
Webweaving Files
Keeping track of your contacts is a good idea. If you send out a bunch of letters or emails, its going to save you a lot of time wondering "Ok, who is this person" when they reply. And as you continue to build your relationships, being able to remember their birthday's or asking about their family will also be a nice jester.
Workshops
Local Workshops
Most of the local stores that I've visited, and I've been to many lol, offer workshops or have a list of teachers and their specialties. As Silver mentions, don't be afraid to ask for as much information about the classes as you can get, especially if you are paying a fee. After all, it's your money we are talking about.
If the instructor or the owner are trying to "push" some added supplies on you, then you have to make a decision. If they are truly something you want and can afford, then go for it. But, do not feel as though you have to purchase something, put yourself in financial trouble, just to get the most out of a class. That's just not the way it works.
And lastly, if the instructor turns out to know a lot less about the subject than they probably should, and you know more than they do, don't show them up. It's going to be very tempting, but it will only be disruptive. Pick and choose places to make well worded comments or ask leading questions, but don't monopolize the conversation.
Out of town Workshops
Each of these questions are important, and you really need to consider them carefully. Again, if the course is too costly, I doubt very highly if you will get much benefit from it, knowing that you are going to have eat bread and water for the next week lol.
If you have a friend who would like to attend with you, that is a great idea. It gives you someone to bounce ideas off, have dinner with, and you won't go not knowing anyone.
Courses
Personally I like courses. It gives you time to get to know the other members, provides a nice bit of structure to your learning, and almost forces you to study each week lol. Obviously this is the whole premise behind SOTW (although I don't get paid lol).
Festivals
Alas, I haven't been to a festival myself, yet anyways! So I'm just going to leave this section to the expert.
Summary
Even though you may be choosing to practice as a Solitary, that does not mean that you can't network. Meeting other people and exchanging ideas is a wonderful way to learn and grow.
Writing Assignments
1. Write a networking introduction letter. You can address it to me, or someone else. The idea here is to try and get used to writing that first letter. Keep it short, but effective.2. List your expectations for workshops, courses, and festivals. Include price range, time commitment, travel etc. This should help you get a good idea of what you are looking for, before you even start looking.
Note
I have been debating for some time now the effectiveness of the quiz's. They do take a bit of time to prepare and I'm not sure how helpful they are. So for now, I'm going to cease using them. After I have had the chance to get more lessons prepared I may come back and add the quiz's again.
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